Being a Perpetual Pilgrim | Joshua
“Why are you on Pilgrimage?”
That was the question Joshua faced before the Blessed Sacrament and a crowd of Eucharistic adorers at Mission La Bahia in Goliad, TX. As one of the Perpetual Pilgrims on the St. Juan Diego Route of the National Eucharistic Pilgrimage, he was asked to give his testimony– something he’d never done before.
“Over the course of the evening of adoration, we had time for praise and worship, silence, guided reflection, prayer teams, and testimony…Reflecting on the question ‘Why are you on pilgrimage?’, I took the adorers through my life story, speaking freely of how our Lord loved and continues to love me in places of doubt, pain, and brokenness, especially in my experience of same-sex desires.”
Joshua has been a part of Eden Invitation for barely a year, coming in through Book Club in the summer of 2023. Remarkably, Joshua’s particular invitation to walk with us was also the fruit of a public testimony shared by another striving disciple.
“I first encountered Eden Invitation about three months before [Book Club], when a community member gave what became a groundbreaking talk for me at my university.”
“After what felt like an eternity of waiting for everybody else to finish asking questions, I built up the courage to open up about my experiences. The speaker then pointed me in the direction of Eden Invitation, I had my story call a few weeks afterward, and the rest is history!”
Walking beside other striving disciples with LGBTQ+ experiences has been a vital part of Joshua’s growth in the past year, preparing him for the journey ahead:
“My time in Eden Invitation has prepared me to be a pilgrim who can reverence his story and experiences as holy ground that is fruitful for my own sanctification and for the building up of the Church. In my own wounds, I am close to Her [the Church’s] wounds and can bring them close to Christ’s wounds.”
Being received by the Eden Invitation community as a whole person and participating in structures of mutual support like our online space and Hearth Groups, Joshua felt prepared and called to discipleship– to give of himself in the creative and unique opportunities God has placed in his journey.
“After my [first] testimony, I was privileged to receive three people who shared with me their experiences of sexual brokenness, life as queer disciples, and transformative encounters with the love of God. In praying over them, giving thanks for their goodness, and interceding for them in places of need, I came to understand how our Lord is inviting me to allow Him to work in the lives of others with my own, belovedly unrepeatable self. He wants to pour His grace into others' lives through my wounds, not in spite of them, filling them with His grace and glory for the edification of His body, the Church. If this is what self-gift looks like, I'm all in!”
In every journey, there are difficult parts. In our lives as striving disciples with LGBTQ+ experiences, we often ask the question “Who is on this journey, this long haul to Heaven, with me?” For Joshua, this question became truly incarnate through the National Eucharistic Pilgrimage:
“It was difficult knowing my time on the road with people in every place we passed through was limited to those couple miles we walked together. As someone who, from time to time, is inclined to doubt the permanence and reliability of human connections, this challenge became fuel for some of my anxieties.”
“As I continued to reflect on this place of pain near the end of our time of pilgrimage, I found myself growing in the sense of our mystical Eucharistic communion as a Church. We, though distended through time and space, are most fundamentally the Body of Christ, united as members in and through our Head. I find a deep consolation in this reality.”
Coming together with over 60,000 pilgrims from around the country, to encounter and adore Christ at the National Eucharistic Congress was a beautiful experience– a glimpse at the joy of being together with Him in Heaven. In that crowd of 60,000 though, were people Joshua knew from Eden Invitation– the Staff at the Eden Invitation booth and many other members of our community working for ministries or accompanying others to talks and events. Joshua felt so welcomed by our local community members in Indianapolis and encouraged by others who traveled in:
“I hope our time at the Congress was one of witness to the wider Church of how we, with all our experiences, can live a positive vision of life within the Church.”
While the Congress may be over, our journey together toward a deeper union with Christ certainly isn’t. In a way, we all are perpetual pilgrims. As Joshua reflected on this continued journey:
“Even if I am separated from my fellow pilgrims in this life by time, space, distance, and even the limits of human memory, I can look forward to our Eucharistic communion in the Mass, which itself is a foretaste of our true union in heaven. In this union is the fulfillment and validation of my heart's longings: A fulfillment, because my longings are not without reason or object. A validation, because the things they were made for were always too big to exist on this side of heaven.”
And to you, dear friends in Christ, who walk with us in solidarity through your prayers and gifts, Joshua has one more thing he’d like to say:
“Thank you for helping me realize my closeness not only to the heart of Christ, but to the heart of the Church. Please pray for the continuation of this mission, both in my own heart and in the heart of all of us longing ones in Eden Invitation!”
